I caught myself yesterday out on the driveway, splashing in a puddle left from the afternoon showers. I don’t know how long I had been horsing around for but I found myself really engrossed in trying to make my flip flops float in an inch of water! I’ve been bit dozy lately. Actually a lot.
Few weeks ago, I wrote what I thought was a pretty neat, concisely outlined post on the emotional phases of a relocation. I confidently broke the piece down into 7 stages and very cleanly apportioned equal amounts of emotional ramblings to each phase leaving no room for any shades of grey in between.
However moving from one location to another is rarely as seamless as I made it out to be in phase 5. In reality you’ll almost never acquire a new lease starting the very next day of your old one’s expiry. There’s usually this mid-phase; a transitional period where both your rental leases overlap. You’ll have half your stuff in the new place and the other in the old. It’s this grey shaded time period where you’re not completely moved. You’re sort of shuffling backwards and forwards; eating at one, sleeping at another…you’re not exactly in a state of confusion because you know what you are doing. It’s just that you’re kind of equally in two places at the same time.
And that’s where I am in life at the moment. In that middle phase. That phase where I’m not completely somewhere. And not that I’m lost or anything again (gosh I’ve already spent the last 3 years being adrift!) because I know with some certainty where I have to be. And I’m all done up and partly moved as well so it’s not like I am stuck in the old. It’s just that ‘in-between’ phase.
We all get here. In fact several times throughout life. Be it in between two jobs, moving into motherhood or transiting between colleges. I used to be very scared the few times I’ve been here. I would get into this ultra panic mode and turn into a zombie trying to relentlessly work myself out of it. I couldn’t handle the ‘waiting to start ‘ concept. Now when I think of it, it kind of made me feel like a loser if I wasn’t attached to doing something and I probably was never very kind to people who were in between relationships or taking some time to make a decision. I am a very ‘either-this-side-or-that’ kind of person and I always perceived people who took time to wrap things up as ‘weak’. Which is why, I’m astounded at myself for handling this extended period of me not doing much, so sanely, so not self-critically.
To bring home this rather abstract, can’t-really-see-where-this-is-going post, I’d just like to spotlight this in-between phase and just how imperative it is. You know that cliche’- ‘It is the journey that matters, not the destination..’? Yeah. Nope, nope this isn’t part of the journey or anything. It’s actually moreee…of a puddle on that road of your journey! What do you do when you come across a pool of water on your way to somewhere? Most of us spend immense amount of energy in trying to side-step, stepping over it to continue on, to not break the momentum of the stride. Have you noticed sometimes no matter how high you lunge, you still end up with a soggy shoe? 😀 That’s because it’s calling you out to stop. To slow down. To think and to re-evaluate. To cross-check your bearings. To make sure that you’re absolutely ready to cross over to the next stage. You can and we do sometimes keep carrying on with a squishy shoe but eventually you will need to stop and dry it out.
I’d probably do everything not be caught in it too but this stagnant, trapped-like phase is necessary. New beginnings promise hope, lots of happiness and once we see it on the horizon, we eagerly try and speed up to catch it as soon as possible. And in our eagerness we sometimes disregard to tie up the loose ends. This is exactly what this time is for. To allow you to go over your stuff and see if you’ve forgotten something; perhaps a thank you or a goodbye. To cast away any bitterness you might be carrying on to your new relationship. To check in any unrealistic expectations fostering for the future. To grow up.
So right now if you’ve made a decision and know where you have to be and are sort of ready to go but it’s not really happening, I implore you not to rush it. These in-between phases of life, these…puddles have a purpose. Take off your shoes, splash around, stay in gratitude and wait for the road to dry up!
Are you in-between somewhere in life right now? Tell me all about it in the comments box below!