There is no balance between grief and gratitude.
No matter what they say about remaining thankful even in difficult times, I’ve found it is sheer impossible to practice any gratitude while your heart is breaking into infinite number of pieces. So let’s just stop kidding ourselves and let your grief consume you.
Lie in your grief as long as you have to. Lie in that self-pitying pool of hopelessness if that’s the only thing you can manage to do today. Cut off anyone whose love still reaches you in your darkness if you must.
One day you’ll either get exhausted of carrying your grief around or man up to tell it to fuck off or finally make love to your grief.
When that happens, then be in gratitude for that grief. That pain would have made way for possibilities you didn’t know you could reach for, had you not been broken in that way.