24th July, 2020

Dear Anand,

Did you know the kavi who wrote the lines “..zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi teri meri kahaani hai”, his name is Santosh Anand? (I know right). He wrote this around 1971-72 and it so widely resonated with people of every age then. Even today it still does. Perhaps because it’s hope explained in the simplest, kindest of words.

It’s irked me this song. Always has. I’ve often wanted to reach out to Santosh saab to clarify what he meant by teri meri kaahani? Did he mean “my life” and “your life” as two separate, individuals stories or did he mean “our lives” as in one story? But I’m afraid that somehow even if I do reach him, he’ll say he’s never meant anything but our lives; our story. I can actually imagine him rolling his eyes at my foolishness to think otherwise.

But I’ve now almost lived half my life. I don’t know how you’d measure yours (I know you think age is just a number) but we’ve lived our own separate lives for so long. It’s not like we haven’t tried though. The 3 Ghosts of Christmas must collectively groan every christmas eve when we just miss each other on the winter crossroads!

While it is always lurking somewhere near me, I manage to glare it away most times but some nights in the dark, it manages to creep up to my ears. It’s faint at first but then gets louder like sand sliding off the back of a tip truck rather than sand through an hourglass.

I have so much to tell you, half a lifetime to fill you in. I worry that if we do end up running into each other this Christmas, we’ll spend so much trying to catchup on the past that we’ll let the time we have left together slip. So I’ve decided to write to you. To tell you all those things I would have if we lived a life together. As Santosh penned “do pal ke jeevan se, ek umar churani hai”. I’m going to steal us a lifetime, Anand.

Love,
Shyamni.